do not

you left. and in the span of one month,
a few weeks
a couple days
objects lay useless
space in the house
an opportunity to save money.

you left. and in the mainstream madness of it all,
something dropped down, something
fell back
unfinished business forced to run
bodyguards and bad dreams
escorted you out.

and that is not all. she
loved you, in the way a mother loves
a renegade. you were her favourite
the small ball of sunshine, the
sparking, sparkling energy, the
wonderful cliches we use to talk about
love and

— well, she will miss you
you, the gash of everything you could get away with
you, the forgiven
forever, forgiven. and you were different before you left
she did not want
to see that. perhaps she never will.

we are counting the days now, subconsciously
counting the miles. it is roughly four hundred dollars
and thirty minutes, a ridiculous toll to go
to, say, macquarie fields. we wait, subconsciously
i wish you had boxed your things.

the hurt will fade in time, said my love, my
best friend. the disappointment,
though — that might stay. i knew all too well
when i looked at my father’s face. it was a sunny morning though,
after the storm
when i realized that it was for me

my disappointment will linger
like your strange, melodramatic ghost
in a room that wonders where you are.